Bernard "BK" Knopper
BK has more XP than you! Also known as “Big Knight”, he is an online entrepreneur and his Bejewelled score would make you weep. The self-proclaimed KNIGHT OF THE INTERNET lives in Norwich. Has a little brother. Like his Facebook fan page or follow his EPIC twitter account for some rants and tweets! #epic
Jonny graduated from the University of Life with a degree in telling it like it is. Or isn’t, depending on the topic. Renowned slam poet and performance addict, Jonny can be found gracing stages up and down the UK bringing a lyrical tale or ten to enraptured audiences. He’s a sharp dresser and an even sharper shooter…so long as the arrows are words and he’s aiming them at your heart.
“Missy Tyne” is the stage name of Christian country singer and animal rights activist Eglantine Prior. Keen to spread the word of God's love to the world, Missy recently moved to Nashville, Tennessee in order to pursue a recording contract. Her most notable songs include “Jesus Loves my Curves,” and “I wanna feel God's will all through my body.” She has recently launched her own jewellery chain, “Love Conquers,” of which 20% of the profit goes to an undisclosed charity. She has been praised by conservative groups in the past for her demure, yet eloquent, manner when responding to those who challenge her beliefs and for being a role model proving that, just because one dedicates one's life to Christ, that doesn't mean one can't look her best at all times.
(Sister) Elizabeth Pearson
I am not a confident user of the Internet, but would like to use it to spread the Good News and bring the light of our Lord into the lives of his more wayward lambs. I pray to the Virgin Mary that she may grant your souls a reprieve to see the path to righteousness.
Nicknamed ‘The Beast’ Mike retired from rugby league with more than two hundred appearances for Grassington Roosters to his name. He’s still the current record holder for most sin-bins to be picked up by a single player in one season. Mike defied his surgeon’s advice and overcame a crippling back injury to spend a year walking in the Tibetan mountains where he was shown the ways of Ashtanga Yoga. He now teaches his own brand of yoga and spiritual well-being at his temple on Gainsborough High Street. Mike confesses to having spent six months at renowned rehabilitation clinic, The Convent, to confront both a battered Mars bar habit and sex addiction. He now gives advice to others living with addictive personality disorders as well as promoting his own relaxation and mindfulness techniques. Mike is twice divorced and is committed to his current long-term open relationship.
Born and bred in Colwyn Bay, Ted left his monk’s robe behind and became a bookseller. He is a lover of the beautiful Welsh outdoors and dispenses counsel to those who need it. He wouldn’t call himself an optimist or a pessimist, more a “realistic realist”, with both feet firmly on the ground. He is still learning how to use the internet but he has a lot of help from his friendly neighbours who installed broadband in his flat and help him run his blog, http://onlinejournalofted.blogspot.com
Forget about me, I want to talk about you! I’m one of the leading life coaches in the country. I will take your stories and get to the root of your vices. I will listen to you and get to the bottom of your darkest secrets. I will keep your best interests in my heart. I can make you a better person. My hope is that you will listen to my story and learn something about yourself. My story is a mirror—look into it and find the real you!
Jon Harrison is a stockbroker with Anderson & Associates, where he has worked for the past twenty years with great success. An avid lover of fashion, Jon spends his free time searching the racks for great deals on the latest clothing. He has a particular weakness for hats.
Bert Cassidy is studying Philosophy at Oxford University with a specialist interest in the Philosphy of Physics. A self-confessed bibliophile, Mr. Cassidy recently won the right to bring a sleeping bag to the Philosophy and Theology Faculties Library in order to spend all his time among his beloved books. He has become somewhat of a novelty at Oxford and there are often appeals made by the more philanthropic students to provide Mr. Cassidy with clothes and food (for which he is most grateful and, still, in dire need of) in exchange for his insights into the world of science and ethics.
I am a family lawyer from Leatherhead and an enthusiastic beagle owner. You can direct your legal questions to me at @hcamp58
Frank McDonald is the MSP for Edinburgh Southeast. He’s known for his hands-on approach to governing, and every Saturday he has an open door policy at his home, allowing constituents to come and address any problems they may have. Mr. McDonald’s other passion is food, and he and his wife often host lavish feasts for family and friends. Because of his generous attitude and his large white beard, he has been lovingly nicknamed “Auld Santa Clause.”
I’m Roger, known as The Dodge to the lads, The Dong to the ladies – WINK! Jokes, jokes, jokes! That’s what I do – stand up comedian in the house, uh oh!! Any gigs goin let me know. Cheffin at the mo at the Falstaff in Canterbury, really love cookin, hence the gut LOL! Love a pint or ten wif the lads and always game 4 a laugh. Man United til I die!
Denzil Gurnard, yacht master, earned his sea legs as a crab fisherman out of Dartmouth Harbour. He boasts a proud ancestry of seafarers and his knowledge of winds and currents is razor sharp - even when tipsy! Denzil is certainly a man you’d want on your side in a pub fight having once lost a little finger over a game of Liar’s Dice (still pickled in a jar in Brittany as legend would have it). He’s a lifelong supporter of Plymouth Argyle Football Club and a well-known patron of many a sea port tattoo parlour. As well as knowing how to spin a good yarn, his sole ambition in life is to one day own his own yacht and call it ‘The Maudelayne’. He’s currently of no fixed abode.
World-renowned Cosmetic and Reconstructive Surgeon, Cas Husseini, received initial training in his native Iran before transferring to the Division of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery at Stanford University in 2004. Upon graduating, Mr. Husseini has expanded his skills to incorporate methods and ideologies from a number of disciplines in the field of medicine and is recognised as one of the most intellectually diverse practitioners in the field working today. His idiosyncratic techniques, particularly his enigmatic Rhinoplasty surgery which does not require the cartilage in the nose to be broken, have, indeed, proved to be most lucrative leading to his being named “Cosmetic Surgery Weekly Magazine”'s richest surgeon of 2012, 2013 and 2014. For a consultation, please do not hesitate to contact Mr. Husseini's Mayfair surgery directly via the website. Payments MUST be made in advance.
Alyson Cooper is the advice columnist for the Bath Daily Gazette. Under the pseudonym Wife of Bath, she provides advice about relationships, fashion, beauty, and much more. Alyson uses her ample life experience, including her five marriages, to help give practical advice to the women who write to her. She has won numerous awards for her work, including feminismandlipstick.com’s “Best Advice for Fashionable Feminists” and the Bath Daily Gazette’s Reader’s Choice Award for most entertaining writer. She is currently working on compiling her advice into a book, tentatively titled Why Women Should Embrace Their Sexual Power, and Other Practical Advice for the Modern Girl.
Joe Parson is just a simple man trying to live a good life.
Robbie Miller is a car mechanic from Slough. Aside from dirtying his overalls at his garage, he is an up-and-coming cage fighter who goes by the name “The Red Bear” and is yet to lose a match. Mr. Miller is also a talented musician and plays in a wind band which meets weekly at a local social club. A self-confessed joker, Mr. Miller states that his hobbies include spending time alone late at night with the internet, socialising with the lads and “banging your missus.”
Have you received an injury at work that wasn’t your fault? You could be entitled to compensation. If that’s the case, you need to talk to me, Tam Mannering, personal injury lawyer extraordinaire. Not only can I bring your case to court, I can guarantee a no win, no fee deal*. In my spare time I’m a bit of an animation buff – Wallace and Gromit are my homeboys! (Do people still say that?) Really enjoy spending my weekends creating characters and stories with my trusty camera (cost a small fortune! But totally worth it!)
Ozzy was born and bred in Norfolk. He’s currently the manager of a contracting firm, JT Construction, which, thanks to Ozzy's hard work, now has a four star rating on Yelp. When he’s not working, Ozzy spends most of his time out on the golf course, where he has an average handicap of +18.
Seb is a tough, ugly lad who loves beer and burgers, and spends a lot of his time with his mates. He’s happiest hanging out with the fellas. He’ll entertain the ladies too, but frankly he’d rather have a drink. Seb doesn’t tolerate those who don’t follow through with their responsibilities. He also can’t stand excuses. If you owe someone Seb knows, he’ll come to collect. Veni Vidi Collecti!
Gael Henry Smifferton
Gael Henry Smifferton is a senior partner at Asquith Smitherton, where he is master of antiquities and relics at the company’s dealership on Charing Cross. Former altar boy and chorister, Gael, still entertains a passion for singing; performing a number of well-known acts at various off-beat venues and locations around the capital (after dark). He recognises himself as a self-made person whose fascination with ancient artefacts has led him all around the world, from Cairo to Bangkok. Gael is devoted to his business and professional affairs, which might explain why he’s never been married, describing himself as “the one that got away”. Gael has a very orthodox outlook on life and while he prefers not to intimate as to his own persuasions, his most amplified proverb remains “greediness is the root to all evil”.